“She tells him she was raised on a commune in Vermont, the child of hippies, educated at home until the seventh grade. Her parents are divorced now. Her father lives with her stepmother, raising llamas on a farm. Her mother, an anthropologist, is doing fieldwork in on midwives in Thailand.”
Gogol is on his way home from Yale when he meets Ruth on the train. Ruth is studying at JE. She is a free spirit. Clearly, her hippie parents are, not confined to the restrictions of traditions, culture, and religion. Her parents chose to marry and then divorce. The fact that they had so much freedom already contrasts Gogol's parents and their lifestyle. As Gogol shares his "bland in comparison" experience, she shares a strong interest in what he has to say. This is an important quality as he has never enjoyed this part of his life. He has always been insecure about it. He has never even shared these stories with any American friend. Now he has a little more confidence due to his name change. She is helping him come out of his shell and finally experience something he has never allowed himself to experience. Though their love only lasts a year, it is a cute first love. But it's also one he keeps from his parents. Again his insecurity is not gone, "He cannot imagine being with her in the house where he is still Gogol." I think Gogol wants to differentiate himself from his parents as much as possible. he uses his parents to see what he doesn't want. "He pities his parents when they speak to him this way, for having no experience of being young and in love." He is probably also trying to get out some final rebellious angst. His parents aren't supportive and would rather he be with a Bengali woman. "They've even gone so far as to point out examples of Bengali men they know who've married Americans, marriages that have ended in divorce." This relationship doesn't last because Ruth goes to Oxford and then unexpectedly stays for a summer term. When they reunite, they just aren't the same people. They have fallen out of love. Then they start arguing and it's just not the same anymore. "Ruth looked the same but her speech was peppered with words and phrase she'd picked up from England, like 'I imagine' and 'I suppose' and 'presumably.'" 
His second serious love lasts
(almost) forever!!!! He first meets Maxine at a party and she hits him up the next day. He is invited to her house for dinner. The fact that she lives with her parents catches him off guard. Again the relationship she has with her parents totally contrasts Gogol and his parents' relationship. While Maxine and her parents can talk about anything and happily live under the same roof together, Gogol barely speaks to his parents. He falls in love with her elegancy and lavish lifestyle. Boy does he love their lifestyle. "They eat appreciatively, commenting on the tenderness of the meat, the freshness of the beans. His own mother would never have served so few dishes to a guest." Gogol is so quick to notice their differences in their manners/etiquette, speech, relationship, discussions at the table, parties, wealth, and so much more, always adding how his parents differ. He loves the ways of the Ratliffs. He loves their country house and enjoys their super fancy parties with elegant food. He tries to be one of them. I think he loves being one of them. And how can you not, their lives are simple and luxurious!! Other than the couple times he has mentioned his background and upbringings, he pretty much is quick to blend in with them. He uses this relationship as an escape (a very nice one too). His parents can't contact him and he is so relaxed throughout it. Perhaps, he is mostly relaxed because he is away from his parents and work. Maxine is also gets to meet Gogol's parents. This is significant as it makes Gogol very vulnerable as now he is seen in a different light. His parents are different from her parents and it's one of the few times Maxine sees Gogol as Bengali. The biggest reason for this relationship ending is due to the death of Ashoke. This is after Ashoke finally explains to Gogol the significance behind Gogol's name. Gogol is shocked. This makes him mature and pulls him back into reality, more specifically back into his mother's and sister's lives. He distances himself during this mourning period and Maxine can only withstand it for so long. She wants to help him and help him go through this but Gogol doesn't want her to be a part of it. They fight. They break up. Gogol begins to see a woman. She is an architect. She is also married to a college professor. This reminds him of his parents. He isn't looking for anything serious or romantic. Again, he just wants to escape. This is a way for him to move forward but not effective or healthy. "He does not know exactly where she lives. She always goes with him to his apartment. She never spends the night. He likes the limitations." He doesn't want to get attached but he still wants some intimacy. This doesn't last long either. He feels guilty once he comes to the realization of how his husband must feel like missing her. His mother is pushing for him to get settled and so he eventually agrees on going out with his mother's Bengali friend's daughter, Moushumi. “He had not expected to enjoy himself, to be attracted to her in the least. It strikes him that there is no term for what they once were to each other. Their parents were friends, not they.” They quickly got along and fall for each other sooner. They learn each other's quirks. They mostly seem to bond over their similarities, such as their parents' expectations, culture, experiences, and beliefs. They understand each other due to their immigrant parents. While Gogol felt like he couldn't date, Moushumi was forbidden to date and so this has negatively affected her, making her believe she would always be alone. Anyways their wedding is extravagant and happy but was set up by their parents. It's traditional and not exactly what Gogol wanted. Neither of them saw themselves marrying a Bengali yet there they were expressing "until death do us apart." Gogol was just trying to make his mother happy especially after a hard time dealing with Ashoke's death.
This relationship ends because of her affair and his unhappiness. He gets super jealous as he "finds odd remanants of her life with Graham." He starts to realize she kept a lot of things from him such as the meaning of her name. More importantly she casually tells her friends that his name was Gogol. The betrayal!!! Overall it doesn't end well. In fact, it ends in divorce. Funny because his parents believed marrying an American woman would lead to divorce.
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